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.:i.am.the.rain:.
. cause i'm so clever. but clever ain't wise.
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22nd-Nov-2011 04:20 am - [sticky post] Gang of Gin [lj: flist, lj: flock]
music - drew pete default

as of April 18th, 2007 this journal is friends only.
graphics can still be found at
26th-Apr-2015 09:55 am - well
music - drew pete default
i can't breathe half the time. i am drowning in my own life.  i have nightmares.  i wake up crying.  i fall asleep crying.

i have to go to work today.  and i like work.  the seven hours a week they give me. i need them. desperately. i have no money coming in otherwise.  so these meager hours are all i have to keep the cats fed and with litter and all those little stupid things like gas and toilet paper and shampoo.
but i'm so tired.  soul tired.  i just want to go back to sleep all day instead of deal with anything.

since this all happened at the start of december i've been making due. i still had decent hours then because of it being the holidays.  so for the first month or two i paid my own bills. then since then my dad has been helping me.  except now my dad can't afford it any more because they took away his disability benefits now that he's 66 and gets social security.  so come all the bills that are due at the end of may/start of june i am dead broke.

and i have been busting my ASS trying to find a job. applying for over a dozen places every day.  places that i can't even drive to because my car keeps breaking down.  because all i ever have is shitty cars that break down.  and i'm getting dick in response.  i've been looking for months.

people keep trying to give me suggestions.  as if i'm not already doing everything i possibly can. everything that is in my power.
and i can't do a fucking retail or food service job.  even part time.  cause part time still means six to eight hour shifts.  and something is seriously wrong with my legs and my health.  cause i can't stand on my feet for more than six hours, even with compression socks on.  & even if i manage to make it through one eight hour shift i can't do it again for another three or four days after that my feet swell up so bad.

so i don't have my health.  friends.  family.  money.  and i'm likely going to be homeless soon with no place for my cats to go.

what's left? 
22nd-Sep-2011 04:11 pm - Lost [lost]
lost - superhappyfuntime
2004. Wow.

So first thing I wonder is what is ack_attack going to do to celebrate?
tv - community breakfast club
I CANT RAVE ABOUT JOSH HOLLOWAY AND ANNIE BEING BADASS AND EVERY SINGLE THING THAT MADE THIS EPISODE EPIC IF YOU DONT WORK TUMBLR NOOOOOO
fight club text - jobs we don't need

i'm officially on tumblr.
clickity click above image.
add me/leave me your name so i can add you/stuff
lost - superhappyfuntime
omfg best remix ever



i never thought i could like GaGa ever ever ever ever
lost - sexy sawyer
JOSH HOLLOWAY IS GOING TO BE ON COMMUNITY!
if he makes out with britta?
a very weird circle of fangirl awesome within me will be complete and cause me to splode

just sayin.
9th-Dec-2010 10:47 am - Manhattan [irl, nyc trip, tv: lost]
lost - here comes another flashback
i feel like jack from Lost all the time.
i keep thinking about Manhattan & going
"I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE ISLAND."
goddamn i miss it.
8th-Dec-2010 03:19 pm - how fucked up is this then? [bitches, wtf]
himym - allegedly robin
it would appear that someone hacked my account. got my password somehow. then it appears that they started to make a post, but then realized that they were posting something for -their- journal in -my- space so they left mid post. leaving the draft open on my account.

a draft that very clearly showed me exactly who it was doing so. so. she's busted. good thing i already just defriended her sorry ass anyways.

seriously. someone who considers themselves an adult but they hack other people's livejournals? that is seriously beyond fucked up. immature and sad. & not quite sure what you think you accomplished??? considering i hardly even use this thing lately you dumb twat. beyond that i'm honest as shit. i'll say to your fucking face what i think of you. TO YOUR FACE.

so. now it looks like i have to change my password. awesome. that's not an utter pain in the ass or anything. if your point was to offer me up a minor inconvenience and, in the process, make yourself look like a pathetic sap? CONGRATS YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED YOUR GOAL. now fuck off & die, please.
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